25 jokes from a GDR that uncover a Stasi couldn’t overpower laughter

4 min read
  1. Don’t think.
  2. If we think, don’t speak.
  3. If we consider and speak, don’t write.
  4. If we think, pronounce and write, don’t pointer it.
  5. If we think, speak, write and pointer it, don’t be surprised.

4. What are a 4 lethal enemies of socialism? Spring, summer, autumn, winter.

5. What would occur if a dried became a revolutionary country? Nothing for a while, afterwards a silt becomes scarce.

6. Three ships are lined adult prepared to set sale. When a captain of a initial boat is asked where he is going, he says “to Cuba!”

“What are we installed with?”

“Heavy machinery!”

“And what are we bringing back?”

“Oranges!”

The captain of a second boat says he’s going to Brazil.

“What are we installed with?”

“Telescopes (optical devices)!”

“What are we bringing back?”

“coffee and bananas”

The captain of a initial boat and a captain of a second boat ask a captain of a third boat “Comrade, where are we sailing to?”

“Leningrad.”

“What are we bringing there?”

“Oranges, coffee and bananas”

“And what are we entrance behind with?”

“The train. Obviously.”

7. A propagandize clergyman asks small Fritzie: “Fritzchen, because are we always vocalization of a Soviet brothers? It’s Soviet friends.”

“Well, we can always select your friends.”

8. Older East German residents are going to accept new, bigger IDs. Otherwise, they won’t be means to fit their prolonged faces into a photos.”

9. How can we use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on a Berlin Wall. The bitten finish would indicate East.

Photo: DPA

Jokes derisive a Trabant (the East German automobile of notoriously bad quality, yet a watchful list for one took years!)

10. What’s a best underline of a Trabant? There’s a heater during a behind to keep your hands comfortable when you’re pulling it.

11. What is a longest automobile on a market? The Trabant, during 12 meters length. 2 meters of car, and 10 meters of smoke.

12. A male pushing a Trabant unexpected breaks his windshield wiper. Pulling into a use station, he hails a mechanic. “Wipers for a Trabi?” he asks.

The automechanic thinks about it for a few seconds and replies, “Yes, sounds like a satisfactory trade.”

13. Why has a new Trabi been launched with dual empty pipes? So we can use it as a wheelbarrow.

14. Why are there no bank robberies in a GDR? Because we have to wait 12 years for a get-away car! 

Photo: DPA

Jokes derisive East German leaders

15. Why did Erich Honecker get a divorce? Because Brezhnev kisses improved than his wife.

16. “Erich Honecker and Erich Mielke (Head of a Stasi) wish to burst from a tip of a East Berlin Television tower. Who do we consider will land first?”

“Who cares as prolonged as they jump?”

READ ALSO: Honeckers: The many absolute family in comrade East Germany. What happened to them?

17. Pieck (the initial GDR President) and Grotewohl (the initial GDR Prime Minister) are visiting Stalin in Moscow. Stalin gives them a car. But when they wish to leave, they realize a automobile doesn’t have a motor. So Stalin says, “You don’t need a engine if you’re already going downhill.”

Photo: DPA

Jokes derisive a East German Police (People’s Police) and Secret Police (Stasi)

18. Why do military always have a dog with them? So that during slightest one of them is educated.

19. “The East German People’s Police have also been patrolling West Berlin recently.”

“Why?”

“Because irrationality knows no borders.”

20. How many People’s Police officers does it take to divert a cow? Exactly 22. Two reason a teats, while 5 squeeze reason of one leg any and lift a cow adult and down. 

21. Why did God emanate a People’s Police? He was creation monkeys though ran out of fur.

22. Two People’s Police Officers stopped for a break during their patrol. They both sat down on a kerb and unwrapped their sandwiches. Suddenly, one of them stood up, crossed a wrote and sat down on a conflicting kerb. Puzzled, a other one asked “What are we doing Comrade?”

He answered, “I was during a dentist yesterday and he told me to gnaw on a other side.”

23. Honecker and Mielke are deliberating their hobbies. Honecker: “I collect all a jokes about me.” 

Mielke: “Well, we have roughly a same hobby. we collect all those who tell jokes about you.”

24. Why do Stasi officers make such good cab drivers? You get in a automobile and they already know your name and where we live.

25. Why do a Stasi work together in groups of three? You need one who can read, one who can write, and a third to keep an eye on a dual intellectuals.

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